As football fans, we generally dislike missing matches…this one, however, sounded like a good one to miss! Due to a prior engagement, I couldn’t get to this match, and the club Veocam didn’t cover it so we were left in the realms of Mr Elon Musk to discover some of what happened in Ilford on Saturday.

Even then, the Hulllbridge X-feed didn’t give us too much to go on so I switched to @Ilford1881 to try to follow the proceedings. This can be a bit of a dangerous thing to do, as following the opposition X-feed can sometimes result in an opponent-biased opinion, but this was my only means of following the Bridge fortunes as they visited our lower league table opponents, so it was that or nothing.

With my focus on my phone and X, I settled down to watch an amazing basketball-type affair between Brentford and Ipswich who played out a free-flowing and highly entertaining 4-3 last-gasp Brentford win. Throughout the game though, I checked and checked for some Hullbridge good news. A look at the line up and I was happy with what I saw. Team selection is a lot more consistent these days but unfortunately, our results are consistent too but consistently bad and this continued into game eight of a losing sequence at Ilford.

Over to @Ilford1881 –
I had to wait 18 minutes for the first bit of game news and was reliably (!) informed that Ilford were camped in the Hullbridge half but The Bridge had the best chance. Who was it? What happened I asked my phone but @Ilford1881 weren’t telling.

Six minutes later @Ilford1881 told me that Ilford were still the team having most of the ball but very little chances created…mmmmm, thanks!

As I tried to distract myself with the Prem affair at Brentford a 32nd-minute update informed me that Piers Hatcliff had charged down a Wilkinson Boateng clearance and the ball goes inches wide! Excellent stuff, not the ball going wide but some game detail at last!

43 minutes on the clock and Joel Appiah misses for Ilford as my nerves are shredded further due to information starvation. The ball misses his foot and goes away, with @Ilford1881 lamenting with a “How has he missed”.

Half-time 0-0 comments our online commentator. Time for a beer to help me through the second half!

The second half kicks off and both Hullbridge and Ilford X-feeds agree…
The attendance is announced as 64 and, despite the lack of action, I’m wishing it was 65 and included me!

57 minutes and Ilford remain on top as an effort from Michael Adu goes inches wide…this is becoming torture as we reach the 63rd minute and Ilford are still camped in the Hullbridge half but can't find an opening. Maybe they need a new tent!

The X feed seems to not notice that The Bridge are there and there is no mention of us or are we just having a non-existent second 45? There’s a big shout for an Ilford penalty but the ref says no and I totally agree with him from the comfort of my sofa as the goals continue to rain in at Brentford.

Jacques Leurs replaces Nik Ahmadi on 69 minutes which is fine and then Ilford score which is not fine at all.
70- gooooall (Surely that should be in large caps) Ilford and well deserved it’s Akpele with a tap in but who cares, 1-0…I do, I care, we all do! and where are all the commas in that sentence!

Not to worry, there’s still loads of time left I mutter as Mechack Asuka replaces Ugonna Eminike and then he doesn’t…what’s going on? Ah, Jack Nolde replaces Ugonna, got it, thank you.

My imagination is running wild trying to guess what is going on at Cricklefields and then I’m informed, Laurence Whymark has made a great save. Brilliant, Laurence, I guess. Ilford are well on top and should be in front by more but then Hullbridge have a great chance with a header just wide…who, what, how, why, I know not.

I’m not sure why but there is going to be a fair bit of added time, which means there is still hope. The subs come and go from both sides. Come on Hullbridge, a draw is not too bad, come on!

It’s a yellow card for Tobias Braney, sin-binned, which means his game is over. Time ticks on, we’re into 11 added-on minutes….what is happening?

Ilford FC
@IlfordFC1881
Oct 26 5:06pm
Full-time 1-0 and a great win and well deserved, a great performance, and a clean sheet.
It’s easy for them to say, that was absolutely exhausting!

A typical football afternoon, not at the football, as experienced by football fans all around the country, or indeed, the world. We kick every ball and head every clearance as if we were there, we hang onto every word that somebody types and we imagine pieces of action that probably never ever take place and we’ll do it over and over again and I wouldn’t have it any other way, so…